The Nauseating World of Self Help

I live and breathe the world of transformation.

I am one of those people who share inspirational stories, post cheesy quotes and advocate choosing love over fear.

And after 43 years, I can wholeheartedly say that I am also one of those people who has transformed her life. I am not a different person –  I just experience my world in a very different way.

Most days, I am filled with purpose and passion. I buy into all this jazz about pursuing your dreams and creating the life that you so deeply desire. I do so because I have countless personal experiences and witnessed so many accounts of the impossible becoming possible.

And some days, I find myself cringing as the barrage of “positive” messages stream into my inbox and populate my social media feeds … all advocating the constant pursuit of a new “better” way of being in the world.

Most days, it feels like an inspiring invitation to show up and expand, but onthose other days it feels like relentless pressure … to do more, be more, have more (even if that “more” is actually “less”).

You see, the dark side of this pursuit – if we are not mindful of how we interpret all these “positive hoorahs” –  is the message that we are not OK right here, right now.   

It is easy to start seeing and focusing only on the gap between where you are now and where you want to be or should be.

So, in this amazing and overwhelming era of information, the constant messages of empowerment can leave you feeling paralyzed and powerless, hopeless or in a constant state of “trying to do better”.  

Exactly the opposite of what you are trying so hard to experience. The opposite of the messages’ intention to lift you up!

So, as you navigate this sometimes nauseating world of self help … I want to share something with you that I believe is essential to understand.

YOU do not need to change and you are not going to! 

And here’s why…

In my experience people don’t change!

People who transform their lives and businesses – change the outdated stories that are holding them hostage.

Which gives them the power and freedom to show up, see things and take action differently in their world – and then the world reflects this change back to them in the form of a happier life, healthier body and more abundant experience – inside and out.

Who they are doesn’t change.

And is THAT not a seriously huge relief?

It’s not about YOU!

When you fully accept that it’s not about you, and take this knowledge and put it into practice, you’ll be open to paying a little more attention to the meaning you choose to give those messages that you are receiving. Which is when you have the opportunity to unveil, understand and choose a new story.

You become free, and it is a whole lot easier to stop comparing yourself to the people and lives around you and get on with doing YOU. Most days. 🙂

So, imperfectly, perfect human IF you are on a quest to have a different experience, then your starting point is radical, compassionate acceptance of who you are and where you are right now.

It’s THAT simple. And THAT hard. 

This past June, at the PowHERtalks Victoria, I gave a talk called From Bankruptcy to Abundance. In it I share my money story and the transformation I experienced when I finally, fully and compassionately accepted where I was and what I did to change my world. I invite you to watch the 10 minute video capturing my story, what I chose to do differently and how my world changed.

As for those shiny, happy, people living epic lives and shouting out positive messages –  the truth is that they are simply living their stories too. Just like me and you.

To your freedom from the inside out!