transparency, vulnerability + radical responsibility sucks!

There are spoken and unspoken rules many of us have about how much to share and when. What is appropriate/attractive for people to hear, see and read, and what is just too messy or raw to digest?

Which, I am sure, is the reason why our Facebook feeds seem to be overflowing with shiny happy people. I don’t believe that people are trying to create an illusion about their life; I think that sometimes it’s just hard to know what’s safe to share and how to do it, especially when we are dancing in the dark. And so, silence takes center stage.

The hero’s journey is almost always articulated when she or he is on the other side … but I don’t know that the hero’s journey (yours or mine) truly has a beginning or an end…

So, when do you open up? What is valuable to share? What matters?

Being transparent is a deeply vulnerable place to be … it’s almost as uncomfortable as the mess life inevitably brings.

But as Brené Brown says so perfectly, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.”

Transparency is not about hanging out your dirty laundry … it’s about living in your truth, expanding when you want to contract, honouring where you are at, and opening up to those in your world so they can see you and see themselves reflected back. It’s about creating sacred space for all of us to own our shit, to heal, grow and thrive.

I thought I got all this. I really did. Until I realized that maybe I really didn’t.

The truth is that I was a hot mess at times over the summer as my world took an unexpected, very sharp turn.

I sometimes felt so vulnerable that I might as well have been dancing naked in the street. It wasn’t until I finally gave myself permission to own and share it, that something happened … I stopped feeling like I was going to implode, and began to feel cradled in acceptance all around me. Then an old friend of mine – JOY – showed up, looked into my glossy eyes and invited me to dance again.

Transparency opened the gate for her – vulnerability gave her the path to find me.

When my life changed course this summer, it called me to take radical responsibility in a whole different way. I’d love to tell you that I immediately embraced it with ease and grace, but I didn’t. Instead I put up a really big fight before I finally surrendered.

Radical responsibility is understanding that your personal freedom, the abundance in your life, your relationships – everything is 100% yours! You hold ownership not only for what you clearly created in life but also for whatever shows up, regardless of any apparent connection to your own actions.

Every day we have the choice to compromise our truth and authenticity,
or to own our decisions, our freedom, our power.

Embracing radical responsibility
– You own every single experience you have.
– You honour and uphold your boundaries.
– What you say is what you do.
– You explore deeply, not ignoring when something is out of alignment.
– You say “no thank you”.
– You grow, not shrink.
– You choose to expand instead of contract.

And yes, taking complete responsibility for your life sometimes really sucks – we just don’t talk enough about this part.

It’s the hard road – the scary, messy, painful part of the hero’s journey – and it’s the only one that leads you to the light.

So, here’s my invitation …
to take a new level of responsibility,
to cultivate the sacred space to be transparent and vulnerable,
to embrace yourself and each other without judgement
– with curiosity and love –
to create a place to dance in the dark and fall apart
so that JOY will find You!